Feelings Matter
For most people, before you can truly be happy, you need to truly be sad.
Why?
Because when you cut off your feelings of sadness,* you cut off your ability to feel truly happy.
*The same goes for anger, disappointment and other difficult feelings.
Why?
Because when you cut off your feelings of sadness,* you cut off your ability to feel truly happy.
*The same goes for anger, disappointment and other difficult feelings.
Tools for Happiness when You are Feeling Sad
The Doctor Bliss Doctrine for dealing with difficult feelings.
Sometimes it seems like it is easier to ignore difficult feelings like sadness, anger, fear, hatred, disappointment, shame and other feelings but the truth is until you deal with them, they never go away. They come out sideways instead. Yet, most of us are do not have the knowledge or resources for dealing with our problems. We may feel like we do not have the time. The Doctor Bliss Doctrine is a tested four step process developed by Dr. Clinton Bliss to help his patients work through their feelings to become healthy and happy. Use the Doctor Bliss Doctrine to get started on your path to healing. The rest of the tools in this toolkit help you along your way.
| doctor_bliss_doctrine.pdf |
Sometimes it's hard to know how you are feeling.
Sometimes when life is hard, it is hard to know how you are feeling. Your reaction to difficult feelings, situations, people or events may be to go numb or to dismiss your feelings and tell yourself - and others - that everything is okay. It is not uncommon to have conflicting feelings - like jealousy & sympathetic joy, grief & relief, or anger & contentment, which can make it hard to figure out how you are feeling. The How Are You Feeling tool draws from the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg. Use the feelings charts to figure out what feelings you are feeling and get started on your journey to happiness when you are unhappy.
| how_are_you_feeling.pdf |
Happiness lessons for when you are depressed.*
When you are depressed, it can be impossible not to believe that the depression is who you are, that the things you think about yourself or your life are true, or that things will ever change. Sometimes depression needs to be treated as a medical condition, and it is important to go to the doctor to get the help you need to aid you in healing from depression. Talking about your feelings is equally important. Depression usually comes from grief, even when it is a medical condition. We grieve from losses. Loss comes from losing a loved one or thing, a broken dream, a lost hope, and something you wanted but never happened. Grief has different phases: denial, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. Getting stuck in any one phase can cause depression.
*About 5% of people in the world suffer from depression in any given time period. Life can be hard. Talking about your problems can help but sometimes it is wise to get medical help. Consulting a doctor if you think you are suffering from depression is one way to treat yourself with love and compassion.
*About 5% of people in the world suffer from depression in any given time period. Life can be hard. Talking about your problems can help but sometimes it is wise to get medical help. Consulting a doctor if you think you are suffering from depression is one way to treat yourself with love and compassion.
| happiness_lessons_for_when_you_are_depressed.pdf |
Anger can be a hard feeling to express or a feeling that is too easy to express.
Anger is an important feeling. If not managed well, anger can also hurt your relationships, your chances in life, and you. It is important to learn how to know when you are angry. It's equally important to learn how to manage your anger. Anger points the way. Anger tells you when something needs to change. It is easier to try to change other people or situations over which we do not have control. Often in life, the only thing we can change is ourselves. Rarely can we change other people. Anger tells you when it is time to stop doing something, time to establish boundaries and time to make different decisions.
| happiness_and_anger.pdf |
How to figure out if you are in denial.
It can be hard to figure out when you are in denial. Denial can come in many forms, from living in the past, blaming, excessive drinking, smoking, workaholism, recurring patterns of destructive behaviors, relationships or risk-seeking behavior. Perfectionism can also be a form of denial. The problem with denial is it gets in the way of your happiness. Getting stuck in denial leaves you not fully living your life. Use the Happiness Lessons for When You Are In Denial tool to help you to figure out if you are in denial and find your way back on the path to your happiness.
| happiness_and_denial.pdf |
Detachment is an act of love and respect.
Detachment does not mean divorce, abandonment or giving up. Sometimes detachment will make your relationships and your life better. Detachment means you recognize that the other people in your life are separate from you, that you are not responsible for them, and that it is not your job to change anyone or to make anyone happy. Detachment means that you treat other people and their decisions, - and yourself - with the respect every person deserves.
| detachment_and_happiness.pdf |
Download the Feelings Charts
Use the Feelings Charts to figure out how you are feeling when it is hard to tell. They can be a good starting off point for talking about your feelings. Sometimes feelings are all in a jumble, and sometimes it is hard to say how you feel. With the Feelings Charts you can circle the feelings that you are experiencing. You can use these for your loved ones when they are having a hard time expressing how they feel. The Feelings Charts are based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg.
